Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
so much tequila, so little girl.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
