Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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