You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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