just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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