I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
