i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I love having hate sex.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
