tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
