It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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