You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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