We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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