Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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