physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize