but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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