He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
