You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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