okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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