hotel room ftw
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
God I need to hump something, right now.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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