All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
