Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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