For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
