goodnight i made you a song goodbye
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
We are two peas in an std pod
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
