I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
it's not cheating when I paid for it
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
