I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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