discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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