I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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