i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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