I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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