me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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