Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
