Whod you bang
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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