What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
