could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize