Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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