none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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