I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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