She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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