I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
