Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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