Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize