Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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