I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize