you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
my shit smells like andre
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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