so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
