yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
