what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
