Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm like, not good at living.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
