You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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