we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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