some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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