I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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