There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
