just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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