The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
We have started to decorate penises.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
