Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
