mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
