eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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