Can i not drive my cunt home
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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