Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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